Precious

I had a good conversation with a dear friend today. It touched me deeply and got me thinking about life. I have had a privileged existence in terms of love and acceptance. By the arrangement of Lord, I have been surrounded by family who doted on me as a kid and valued me immensely as a person from a very young age. They appreciated my preferences and tolerated my quirks wholeheartedly. I never once felt unloved or the need to be a certain person, in order to be loved. I did not have to be on guard from "an evil world" to protect my interests. Enough about me. The reason I said this is to built the premise for my friends introduction. My friend is a nice person- but somehow she has this strong feeling that she is not nice- not just that, she considers herself a bad person. I felt so sad- to live everyday with a feeling of being corrupt and evil- ofcourse, there is a level of pure devotees where they feel this way because of their intense humility but that is starkly different from the self pity that causes such feeling in the mind of us, normal people. She is not conceited, which itself is such an achievement in the world we live today. And in my experience, a lot of times superficial religiosity makes a person more conceited than another who leads a totally materialistic life. So my thoughts today are about the identity in each of us....

Nobody, not a single person, is bad in an absolute sense. We are all part and parcel of the Supreme Lord, how is it even possible for us to be evil? We are all gold pellets- some of us have big blocks of clay and mud around us and some others have almost none- but regardless of the amount of clay, we are all gold pellets. If I throw away a gold pellet because it has soil around it, that simply is an indication of my short sightedness, rather than the worthlessness of gold pellet.  When we judge people as bad or imperfect, (I often do) we are simply discarding gold, calling it mud. And sometimes, it so happens that gold forgets itself and identifies with  the mud around it. No matter how much you remind it, it is not ready to accept or acknowledge that it is gold.  So often this happens with people- we start it young. We tell children to be class topper or athlete, or in whatever way we define success and when they fall short of it, we tell them they are worthless. Ofcourse, we don't do it knowingly- but by our sneering comments and comparisons, we make our gold pellet feel like mud. In time, they forget their real identity and start believing that they infact are mud blocks. Oh what pity it is!!! Then we wonder in our head how these gold pellets can behave like mud.... and then conclude that perhaps they really are mud blocks!!!

If there is one thing that I want to remind myself and others today- is to awake to the realization of being gold and not mud. No matter how society expects us to be and how close or far we are to the expectations- it means nothing. Our achievements or shortcomings don't define us. Our strengths or weaknesses dont define us- all these are mud. Some might be valuable mud, some might be useless mud- but essentially, it is all just mud. We all make wrong choices at one point or another, the important thing is to get back on track and remind ourselves of the gold pellet we are. And to behave like one- to be malleable and ductile, to be precious and valuable. 

We are frequently harsh with ourselves- very critical, very judgmental. We have to learn to forgive- ourselves and others. Unless we realize we are fallible, we cannot make amends. Unless we realize that we make mistakes, it is hard for us to excuse others' shortcomings. We have to guard ourselves- not from the world- but from the traps of our own mind. We are restricted not as much by the external world as we are by the internal world. We have to help heal ourselves and the world around us. Redemption is an everyday thing. It is not an excuse for irresponsible behavior, but it is our save in an imperfect world. This world is indeed a place of suffering- it is temporary, it is miserable. But if we keep our focus on the Permanent, misery vanishes from our life, because misery is just a reaction of our mind. When mind is blissful, in the association of the Source of All Love, where can misery stay.... where will night hide when sun is fully bright?

My dear friend, forget not that you are pure gold, don't ever let anyone persuade you otherwise. You are not perfect, but you can be nearly perfect if you choose. You are not spotless, but you can be clean for all times to come. Remember, in eyes of God, you are precious, you will always be!!!!