Culture, Leadership attributes and Social Implications

This is a paper I wrote for a class I took in Fall 2009- "Cross- Cultural Leadership". I am posting it here since it has been quite a while since I posted something on the blog. Its not exciting, interesting or even well- written, so read if you must; I take no responsibility for your choice of how to spend your time ;)

“Leadership can be thought of as a capacity to define oneself to others in a way that clarifies and expands a vision of the future.” Edwin H. Friedman.

Leadership is a key aspect of human civilization, very frequently deciding the path of progress or degradation of the society. In a shrinking world where distance is no longer a barrier for trade, education or business, it becomes essential to integrate the diverse cultural differences into a functional model of global leadership. Leadership is the process of social influence in which one person is able to enlist the aid and support of others in the accomplishment of a common task. (Chemers, 2000). Comparison of Anglo cluster and Southern Asian culture brings out the differences and similarities in their respective leadership styles, based on Hofstede’s dimensions of value. Anglo cluster is devoted to individualism and egalitarianism while Southern Asian cluster has its allegiance to collectivism and hierarchy. This can quite conclusively be explained in relation with individualism- collectivism values and power distance index.

Clustering done by GLOBE study is based on similarities shared by countries propelled by (a) geographic proximity ( Furnham Kirkcaldy & Lynn, 1994) (b) mass migrations and ethnic social capital ( Portes & Zhou, 1994) and (c) religious and linguistic commonality (Cattell, 1950).Anglo cluster comprises of England, Australia, Canada, New Zealand, United States of America, Ireland and South Africa (white sample). This clustering is based on several factors including ethnic and linguistic similarities and migration patterns from areas now identified as Northern Europe ( Gupta & Hanges, 2004). Southern Asia cluster comprises of Iran, India, Indonesia, Philippines, Malaysia and Thailand. Gupta & Hanges observes that a distinct cultural feature of this region was the rather peaceful and interactive coexistence of diversity over long periods ( 2004). The leadership styles and attributes evolved in these cultures reflect the differences in their cultural preferences. Regardless, there is only one leadership dimension that varied substantially across these clusters namely, participative leadership. For the convenience of discussion USA is chosen to represent Anglo cluster and India represents Southern Asian cluster.

Gender egalitarianism is an aspect that varies considerably across clusters in the GLOBE study and Anglo cluster is clearly a more gender egalitarian society than Southern Asia. It correlates with the Masculinity index of Hofstede’s values. GLOBE study evaluated both the perception of current society and the perceptions of the ideal which varied significantly. But in both cases Anglo cluster is found to be more gender egalitarian than Southern Asia (Emrich, Denmark & Hartog, 1999). In a more gender egalitarian society women have equal status as males which can be practically observed by the higher frequency of women in authority and lesser discrimination within the workplace. Emrich, Denmark & Hartog also observes that gender egalitarianism is positively correlated to participative and charismatic leadership styles and negatively correlated to self- protective leadership. This further explains the higher prevalence of participative leadership in Anglo cluster ( 1999). Yet, we find certain examples that do not fit the values derived. For instance, even though USA has high value of egalitarianism, it has never had a state of head that is female since its inception as a free country. On the other end, India which is not a gender egalitarian country has had two female state of heads since 1947,including the present president.

Assertiveness is another leadership attribute that is higher in Anglo cluster than Southern Asia. One of the interesting aspect about this attribute is that the assertiveness practiced by US is higher than its perceived ideal while India practices lower assertiveness than its perceived ideal. This leadership attribute is also correlated to Masculinity index of Hofstede’s values. US has a higher value than India in Masculinity Index. An assertive society greatly favors competition and is not fatalistic. Hartog describes an assertive society as one which has sympathy for strong as opposed to an unassertive society which sympathizes with the weak. Another distinction is the connotations associated with the word ‘aggression’- an assertive society sees it positively while the other sees aggression as a negative nature. An assertive society rewards performance, success and progress while a society with low assertiveness rewards integrity, loyalty and cooperative spirit. Also, others are viewed to be opportunistic in an assertive society while in a society with low assertiveness others are considered inherently trustworthy (1999). In Anglo culture everyone is encouraged to be assertive, while in Southern Asia leaders are accepted to be assertive while followers are not, which can be pointed back to the high power distance in the society.

Individualism and Collectivism is yet another defining leadership attribute that clearly distinguishes Anglo and Southern Asia cluster. Anglo cluster has high value of individualism while Southern Asia has low value. USA has Hofstede’s Individualism index at 91 while India has 48. Further according to Triandis US subscribes to vertical individualism where people strive to lead, acquire status and win (1994). On the other hand India is a vertically collectivistic society where there is deep in- group loyalty but competitive with the out- group. In an individualistic culture, leader is expected to be independent, strong willed and forceful as opposed to a collectivistic leader who personifies interdependence, collaboration and self- effacement. Effective leaders in a collectivistic culture are also paternalistic and nurturing. (Gelfand et al, 2002). There are various other social implication to this leadership attribute. Collectivistic societies are generally agrarian in nature and are often developing countries. Stress and stress related diseases have a low incidence in these cultures. They also have a lower divorce rate and a slower pace of life in general. Communication is indirect, quite possibly to avoid confrontations within the group. Individualistic societies are diametrically opposite in all these aspects. ( Gelfand et al, 2002). In an organizational structure, individualism manifests in numerous ways- for example accountability and entrepreneurial activity. In an individualistic society, specific individuals are accountable for the organizational success or failure while in a collectivistic society it rests with the entire group. Entrepreneurial activity is highest in a society, which has a balance of individualism and collectivism, it decreases progressively on either side of the spectrum. A collectivistic society prefers a team- oriented, charismatic and humane leadership style and opposes autonomous leadership style.

Additionally power distance in another leadership attribute that is very different across cultures. Anglo culture has a low power distance while Southern Asia has a high power distance index. Power distance is the extent to which members accept unequal distribution of power. A high power distance society is hierarchical and stratified based on power as opposed to a low power distance society, which is more egalitarian. Southern Asia is a traditional society, which is also influenced by many philosophies including Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam among many others. Most of these religions have a great distance between one in position and the follower. Furthermore, in India caste system continues to be practiced in spite of outlawing it. Caste system essentially stratifies society into clear-cut compartments assigning certain groups almost all of the power while many others are bereft of any power. The society reflects the power distance difference in many aspects. In a high power distance society information is localized, which is illustrated by the dominance of Hindu priests and royalty over most of the educational system in medieval India. Lower castes were denied education, which prevented them from climbing the social ladder. In contrast a low power distance society shares the information. Another practical demonstration of power distance is the extend of corruption. High power distance society has high public corruption and low civil liberties which is not the case in low power distance society ( Carl, Gupta & Javidan, 2002). Power distance distinguishes Anglo and Southern Asian clusters very clearly. As modernization is spreading there seems to be an inclination towards lower power distance in general.

Humane orientation is the degree to which society rewards individuals for being altruistic, kind, generous, caring and friendly. Southern Asia is more humane oriented than Anglo cluster. According to Kabaskal & Bodur the perceived social ideal Anglo cluster projects a greater value than Southern Asia but in practice Southern Asian cluster is more humane than the Anglo cluster ( 2002). They explain that a high humane oriented society is motivated by the need for belonging and affiliation as compared to a less humane oriented society that is driven by the need for material possessions and power. The affluent members of the society are responsible for promoting the well-being of lesser privileged in a high humane oriented society, whereas state provides social and economic support in a low humane oriented society. Family structure also varies according to this aspect of leadership dimension. In a high humane oriented society, children are expected to be obedient and parents are asked to closely control the children, Children are expected to protect parents in their old age and close circle of family and friends receive material, financial and social support from each other. In a low humane oriented society, children are encouraged to be autonomous and family members to be independent. Children are not expected to take care of parents in their old age and sacrifices for close circles are not expected; self- enhancement is the driving force in a low humane oriented society. One can observe these instances in daily life of these two clusters. Anglo cluster has higher prevalence of old age homes and laws that protect children against any kind of mistreatment from parents and other caretakers. In the social structure, humane orientation manifests in various ways. In paternalistic, high humane societies leadership, takes care of the welfare of workers’ families, sometimes hiring a family member who might not be qualified for the job ( Kabaskal & Bodur, 2002). It is observed that Humane orientation affects culturally endorsed leadership in various levels. High humane oriented societies have a more considerate leadership that is more personal and maintenance oriented. On the other hand, leaders in a low humane oriented culture are impersonal and formal in their relationship with others. In an office in United States relationship are generally official and there is little or no personal involvement in each other’s life as opposed to a higher humane oriented culture like India, relationships within office also spreads to a personal level attachment.

Uncertainty Avoidance is high in Southern Asian cluster and low in Anglo cluster. Uncertainty Avoidance is defined by the GLOBE as “the extent to which members of collectives seek orderliness, consistency, structure, formalized procedures and laws to cover their daily lives” ( Luque & Javidan, 2002). Hofstede defined the concept slightly differently where it represented the national syndrome that relates to neuroticism, anxiety, stress etc (1980). One way to see uncertainty avoidance is the extend to which one can tolerate ambiguity- the higher one can tolerate it, lower is the uncertainty avoidance. Uncertainty avoidance affects society and organization in multiple aspects. One example is openness to innovation- in a society with high uncertainty avoidance, it is increasingly difficult to replace an existing system with a new one. A high uncertainty avoiding society relies greatly on planning and spends considerable time checking for loopholes and mistakes. Another concept related with uncertainty avoidance is the idea of tight and loose cultures originally suggested by Pelto ( Luque & Javidan, 2002). “Tight cultures are characterized by many rules supervising actions” ( Triandis, 1989). In such societies, conformity is very important- it is discouraged to be different from the group. Whereas in a loose culture there are many ways through which norms are relayed and none are considered unacceptable. According to the GLOBE study, Anglo cluster has a higher value of uncertainty avoidance as compared to Southern Asia, which is counter intuitive. Southern Asian cluster has a value of Uncertainty avoidance of 4.10 as current practice while its perceived ideal is 5.16, which is significantly higher. On the other hand, Anglo cluster has a value of 4.42 as current societal uncertainty avoidance value, which is higher than its perceived ideal that is at 4.09. ( Luque & Javidan, 2002). A society with high uncertainty index resists change and shows less tolerance to breaking rules. They take more moderately calculated risks and rely on formalized policies as well as communicate in writing. In a lower uncertainty avoidance society,, members are less resistant to change and shows less desire to establish rules to dictate behavior. Such societies are less concerned with orderliness and rarely document the conclusions from meetings etc. They are less dependent on legal contracts; rather, rely on each other’s words. This is illustrated in the work and legal culture of US and India. US relies heavily on legal contracts and written documentation while Indian work culture generally rests on verbal contracts and mutual trust.

Participative leadership is more endorsed in Anglo cluster than Southern Asian cluster. Participative leadership in GLOBE is defined in terms of subordinates actively participating with the leader in the tasks that the group is undertaking. Anglo cluster being highly individualistic places great value on individual contribution of group members towards decision making. US has Hofstede’s value of individualism at 91 as opposed to India’s 48, which is a strong indication of why participative leadership is more favored in Anglo cluster. People at every level of the organization are encouraged to contribute to the decision-making discussions (Ashkanasy, 2002). This might also be due to the egalitarian tendancies of the society. Such an approach is not preferred in Southern Asia, which is highly collectivistic and hierarchical. In Southern Asian cluster leader is supposed to make decisions that will be best for the group and the group is expected to follow it without any questions. Giving suggestions to make decisions can be interpreted as not having faith in the leader, which is frowned upon in the society. Participative leadership is the single most varying leadership dimension across the clusters ( Ashkanasy, 2002).

In conclusion, one finds significant contrast between the leadership attributes in Anglo and Southern Asian clusters. Moreover, one also observes that GLOBE clusters are a functional and practical way of grouping cultures in a meaningful manner to understand cultural and social behavior. The GLOBE clusters make it easier to implement changes and integrate a diverse society after considering the individual qualities. Anglo cluster is observed to be very individualistic, egalitarian and assertive. It is also performance oriented, with a low power distance. In contrast, Southern Asian cluster is collectivistic, humane oriented and hierarchical. Such differences reflects in the leadership style, organizational structure and business. Comprehending these differences and incorporating them in employee training can greatly enhance the probability of success in the multi-cultural world today. As science and technology strives to bridge the gap between cultures, cultures remain stable in their innate characters, presenting themselves as subtle enigmas that is not well understood yet.

Slaughterhouse- A Bane

(This was my argumentative essay paper submission for English ( ENC1101)It is pretty monotonous, which is typical of a formal essay with all its topic sentences and thesis and stuff- yet the mood it is written with is genuine disgust and disapproval about slaughterhouses.)

“If slaughterhouses had glass walls, everyone would be a vegetarian.” Paul McCartney, singer.
Slaughterhouses are licensed institutions of violent torture, atrocities and murder. They are one of the leading causes of diseases and death, not only for poor animals but also for humans. Hence, they must be closed down for the greater good. Various studies have pointed out that physiology and anatomy of human body is that of a herbivore. When we kill millions of innocent animals for consumption, we are going against our inherent peaceful nature and harming ourselves in the process. Non- vegetarianism is one of the leading causes of life threatening diseases like atherosclerosis, obesity and consequently stroke or cardiac anomalies. Another reason is the ethical question of whether killing a life for one’s own sense gratification is justified. Animals’ intelligence is under scrutiny at times, but the real question is if they experience pain. Inflicting pain upon helpless animals just to satiate our selfish motives is indeed wrong. Slaughterhouses are the result of speciesism, which believes only one’s own species has the right to live. In addition, there is an observed pattern of relationship between criminality, violence and the non- vegetarian diet. Thus, slaughterhouses are a bane to the society and must be closed down.


Supporters of slaughterhouses states reasons such as meat being a part of healthy diet and advertise meat as a titillating treat for the taste buds besides being a source of employment. However, critical analysis proves that these arguments are not valid. Legumes, milk and milk products offer the protein that our body needs. Dr.Paavo Airola, a leading authority on Nutrition and Natural biology says, “ The official recommendation for protein has gone down from 150g recommended twenty years ago to 45g today . . . you can get it from a very 100% vegetarian diet” (67). This statement clearly refutes the argument that meat is vital for our health and affirms that plant food can supply 100% of the nutrients required. Infact, one takes corn, squash and beans, it provides all the 20 essential amino acids required by body. Some of the strongest animals on the planet, like elephants, are pure vegetarians. On the contrary, the meat of any four-legged animal is bad for the body. Recently discovery channel broadcasted three television shows about the harmful effect of meat, especially red meat on human body. A meat-based diet is the biggest cause of heart problems, which in turn is the largest killer disease in US.


Similarly, the argument that slaughterhouses are major economic pillars and part of our tradition is not strong either. The work force currently employed in slaughtering business can find employment in agriculture and farming industry. When consumption of vegetables and fruits increases, the need of work force will increase, which can be met by those rendered jobless. Another counter argument is that humans have always been eating meat. They question the authenticity of turning against animal killing in the modern age. Since ancient times men have killed and eaten animals. However, it was not a large-scale massacre as today. Meat was not the staple food. It was an occasional indulgence. Moreover the meat frequently came from ones own farm. But today, animals are tortured in the name of animal farming, which culminates in their death in slaughterhouses. None of the reasons put forward by the supporters of slaughterhouses are valid and hence we must close down slaughterhouses.


Furthermore, the ill effect of meat consumption on human body is an important reason to close down slaughterhouses. Governments, as well as various organizations, spend millions of dollars to fight the fat clogged arteries, obesity and the spectra of diseases it brings. The single step of closing down these giant killing houses can be a lasting solution to this problem. Though these diseases are not exclusively found in those consuming a non- vegetarian diet, it is predominantly found in this group of population. If killing animals are unavoidable for the sustenance of human species, then we could have justified the need to kill. However, numerous researchers have repeatedly stated that the structure and built of human body is similar that of a herbivore. The prominent Swedish scientist Karl von Linne states, “Man’s structure, external and internal, compared with that of the other animals, shows that fruits and succulent vegetables constitute his natural food” (qtd. in Dasa 22). The anatomy and physiology of man, like his lips, teeth, alimentary canal etc, are designed to be vegetarian. Many studies have also pointed out that vegetarians are healthier and generally have sharper analytical abilities. The predominantly vegetarian populations show lower incidences of chronic diseases like cardio vascular disorders, hypertension and even cancer. The huge volume of data pointing meat based data as a major reason for various diseases endorses the closing down of slaughterhouses for greater good.


Moreover, slaughterhouses are the results of human impudence and feeling of superiority, which is an example of speciesism. Speciesism refers to the elite feeling of a certain species and consequent exploitation of other species. People in general are against all types of sectarian mentality based on race, religion or nationality; but many people conveniently overlook speciesism. As long as a living being is not human, the idea of rights does not exist – not even the right to live. Slaughterhouses are “concentration camps” for animals. In an essay titled On Eating Flesh, the Roman author Plutarch wrote: “For the sake of little flesh we deprive them (animals) of sun, of light, of the duration of life they are entitled to by birth and being” (qtd. in Dasa 27) . For the selfish motives of sensual pleasure, humans deny animals their right to a normal life. We confine them, torture them and kill them with no consideration and respect to their identity. The right to live is universal. Certain violence can be accepted for the protection and sustenance of one’s own life, but taking life for one’s selfish indulgence is crime. Therefore, slaughterhouses must be shut down.


Besides, there is a direct link between food consumed and criminal tendencies. Many cultures of the world, especially occidental cultures, like Vedic civilization, Buddhists, Jains etc are aware of this connection for thousand of years. The food has a gross part, which nourishes the body, and a subtle part that nourishes the mind. Food that are in mode of goodness like vegetables, fruits and milk makes one peaceful, alert and tolerant while food in the mode of ignorance and passion like meat, eggs and alcohol makes one dull, violent and restless, in addition to shortening the life span according to the aforementioned cultures. Today crime and quarrel have shot up exponentially – one of the contributing factors can very likely be the obsessive non- vegetarianism. In early 20th century British Surgeon Dr. Robert McCarrison, stationed in North India observed the astounding health of local tribe ‘Hunzas.’ Many lived past 100 years of age and chronic diseases such as cancer or hypertension were virtually unknown. Intrigued by this observation, he conducted a controlled experiment. He chose 2 groups of albino rats and fed one group with the food that villagers consumed whole grains, vegetables, fruits and milk. The other group fed on meat, caffeinated drinks and refined flour. In 2 years, the first group practically became disease free, gentle and tame. They had lower infant mortality and lower number of deaths. On the other hand, the 2nd group became very restless, violent and unhealthy. By the 16th day of experiment, the stronger among them attacked and ate the weaker ones. (Gaumont and Buttram 126). This was a revelation for him and should become for us too. The food we eat influences of physical body as well as mind. Numerous surveys have concluded that a predominantly vegetarian diet makes a person more focused, alert and lively. Slaughterhouses promote meat eating, consequently affecting human nature adversely and hence they must be closed down.


However, the most important reason to ban slaughterhouses is the extreme cruelty done to animals. Slaughtered animals die a very painful death. Their tails are cut off; dangled by legs and quite often see other animals in front of them being killed. The recent recall of beef by United States Department of Agriculture is interesting for reasons more than one. CNN sites “Authorities said the video showed workers kicking, shocking and otherwise abusing "downer" animals that were apparently too sick or injured to walk into the slaughterhouse.” It is appalling to human conscience that the withdrawal was because cattle treated in aforementioned manner could pose a health hazard. No one seems to be bothered about the ethical issue of mistreating a living being that way. The report continues, “Federal regulations call for keeping downed cattle out of the food supply because they may pose a higher risk of contamination from E. coli, salmonella or mad cow disease because they typically wallow in feces and their immune systems are often weak.” Picturing our food to be in such a transitional state is not very palatable. What is more concerning is that always the focus stays on the comfort of humans and we are neglectful of the pitiable plight of another living being. Abolishing slaughterhouses can be a welcome step to bring back the human conscience that has become merciless.


The reasons to abolish slaughterhouses are many and so are the resultant benefits. Lambs, cows and pigs have just as much as pain as a cat or dog. Many of us have pets and support organizations like SPCA ( Society for prevention of Cruelty to Animals). We should realize killing of animals for food in the presence of alternate sources is a barbarian mentality. Slaughterhouses are bane to the society. They cause distress for both the killer and the killed. Animals have the right ti live just as we do. Unjustified killing is wrong. Killing an unarmed being is a greater wrong. Slaughterhouses are the epitome of such an atrocity and hence, they must be abolished. Every time a juicy beef rib is offered, pause to ponder- this animal could be alive if it were not for human greed. The animal may not be a scientist or a writer, but it is a parent or a child and immensely loved by its family. Humans do not have the right to snatch away the life of these harmless beings. Only we have the power to stop -- the power to protect their lives, and ours!

Mercifully Answered Prayers

(this post is under construction)

My attempt here is to thank my Lord Sri Krishna, for His causeless mercy and love upon me. My life is His mercy and His mercy is my life. It is never advised to take birth in this ocean of miseries- material world. But still, due to our desire to lord over and be the controller we had to take birth in this terrible place. We are lucky- both you and me- since we both got human birth. We have been supposedly endowed with Higher intelligence. What makes it higher is the fact that we have a mind which can distinguish between right and wrong, religion and irreligion. In one way we can even assert that this power to be religious- is what clearly demarcates intelligence and higher intelligence- taste and higher taste.Are you wondering if I am stretching and extrapolating it too far? If we consider any other aspects which is supposed to be achievement of man alone- we will be amazed how crude we are. If we think moving swiftly is a great establishment- a cheetah can run very very swiftly without petrol or electricity. If we feel flying is the achievement- small sparrows fly better. As regard of a government- animals too have their own form of election of chief( without corruption) and obeying of strict social customs and norms- some species even have very precise distribution of labour in their community. So we can clearly conclude that every other aspect of human achievement is present in lower species also , except religiosity. Now comes the question -what is religion? Dictionary describes as ''relating to or manifesting faithful devotion to an acknowledged ultimate reality or deity''. Let us put it in simple words- that which makes us devoted and engaged in loving service of Supreme Lord is called religion. And it is in this regard that I try to write this blog- regarding religion and more precisely, the Supreme Lord.

I was not sure if i should write about my experiences of Lord's mercy- it should be something between me and my Lord. But then i met many people who are intelligent and good- yet unable to have faith on Divine mercy. I have seen followers of many sectarian beliefs spreading their faith- on the basis of some divine interventions. I deeply appreciate their efforts- because seeing their experiences many others are encouraged to take up devotional service. Vedas- the most ancient books known to man- clearly declares who the Supreme Lord is. Sri Isopanishad boldly states

īśvarah paramah krsnaḥ
sac-cid-ānanda-vigrahaḥ
anādir ādir govindaḥ
sarva-kārana-kāranam

Krsna who is known as Govinda is the Supreme Godhead. He has an eternal blissful spiritual body. He is the origin of all. He has no other origin and He is the prime cause of all causes.

If i try to quote about Krsna's supremacy - I can spend a life time doing that. So let us try something which is comparatively easier- Lord Krsna's mercy upon me, on someone who has no qualification whatsoever to be loved by the Lord of all worlds and yet is loved and protected with at most mercy. I will keep on adding to this page and its my request to the reader to please add incidents from your life where you have felt Lords mercy on you. Let us spread the word in whatever meek way we can- to Glorify the sweet Lord and to make everyone luckier to be the beloved of the Supreme Lord- Sri Krishna. I should rephrase the sentence- 'cos Krishna is always bestowing His Love upon all of us- but we are unable to receive it. So let us try to tune everyone to receive His love and mercy , by developing faith in Him and Love for Him.

Let me give a small introduction about my infancy , childhood and teenage to illustrate the situation I grew up in. In terms of scriptural studies and philosophical understanding of Krishna Consciousness- I had no experience. Krishna was in my life cos I found Krishna attractive. As my mother was working- I grew up with my grandmother. And near our house we have a Sri Krsna temple. Though my grandmother is more inclined to worshiping Mother Goddess, somehow or other from whatever description she gave me of Krsna made me interested in Krsna. He seemed to be more personal- I felt other Gods ( read demigods) about whom she spoke about, were giving things, taking things, killing enemies- but I did not find anyone sharing a personal level of interaction in Their leelas (pastimes). I was a reserved child when i was small ( i more than made up for it when as I grew up ;-) ) and Krsna fitted the picture of a friend who was always approachable- Who would listen to me, who I could go to at any point of time. I also got a deity of Krsna- and I am still very attached to that deity. I used to offer Food to Him,sleep Him, bathe Him.Many many instances I saw whenever I asked Him something- I don't even have to ask- by just wishing they would materialize. By repeated display of Him answering the prayers , I never got a chance to doubt Him even as I grew up and lost innocent trust. Whatever faith I have in Krsna is sheerly because He gave it- I am a rascal who might have doubted, but my Merciful Lord never gave me a chance. In this article I would talk about few of the instances when I felt Lords mercy on me- there are many- but let me be selective. Its not arranged chronologically- just a random recall of memories.

# 1 #

Exam Wonder

This is something that happened in 2005. I was in India, doing Bachelors in Homoeopathic Medicine and Surgery. My second semester exams were going on and simultaneously I had to attend a class by '' The Art of Living'' foundation. I used to have some complaints in breathing and my mother had enrolled me in the program in the hope that I may get better. Incidentally it so happened that my semester exams and this course coincided. My mother was adamant that I should attend the course and I had no option but to obey her. I had been almost negligent throughout the semester and so was not at all up to date with my portions. Everyone considered me as a good student and it mortified me to just think of letting their expectations down. Initially I had practical and theory viva for Materia medica and Organon of medicine ( homoeopathic subjects) and it was not so tough. But then I was to have Physiology and Biochemistry exam! We did not have any leave between exams- it was continuous and by the time i got back from the place of my course ( after college) it would be well past 10.30 pm or 11. I was so tired. I just prayed to Krsna to please help me out of this soft spot - and I slept. Next day morning I woke up, got ready and left to college. Upon reaching college I was so tensed and was practically in tears. Our Physiology and Biochemistry was taught by 4 teachers. So for this exam we were to be questioned by 2 teachers on the portions covered by 4 teachers. I randomly opened 3 pages ( from about 150 pages of portions) and read. When my turn came other than few questions which i knew- and the questions exclusively from the 3 pages i read. I got the highest score in my class for that paper.

I was in distress, I called for Lord, acknowledged my incapability and depended He would take care- He just Did!!!

# 2 #

My tryst with Arthritis

I had been a sick child- probably because I was not given breast milk, mother being away- or to be really correct- because of my previous Karma. While I was in my 9th grade in school and we were having a vacation Lord inspired me to learn to write with left hand- I am a right handed person by nature. So I spend 1 month learning this art- by the time vacation finished I could legibly write with left hand. I started my 10th grade and 2 months into the term I fell sick. I had problems with my joints especially on right hand side. I got so sick that my joints became painful and rigid to the extend that I could not even hold a pen. At this time I could use left hand to write, which was not as much in a bad condition as my right. My Lord had inspired me and prepared me to take this crisis on- valiantly. I did well in my 10^th exam, especially considering that everyone thought I would not be able to write the exam. With Lord as my guide, I knew not what limitations were!!!

If I number and write my experiences of Lords mercy there are just too many- and many of them involve third persons. And I do not want to bring in others name in this public blog page. Also many of the mercy I received are not readily distinguished as mercy by everyone- Everytime I prayed for something I have received, but when I was not sure of what to ask Lord took best decisions for me. I have been perplexed, i have been confused about why and how things were happening- I have wondered if this is in best interest- but Lord have always guided me right. My requests whenever foolish , were denied. And I have always realized later how those denials were the most merciful giving.

I wanted to Love Lord but was trapped in monistic philosophy from all sides and Lord send me an angel to show me right way. Later,I came to US- leaving an incomplete Bachelors degree, in the hope of meeting devotees in US- and my first sunday in Florida- I was in temple attending my first sunday program, being in Kirtan , seeing a Sannyasi lead a Kirtan for the first time in my life.

Krsna is wonderful and there is no one more wonderful than Him- I am reiterating what many great men have said millions of times- still I feel its ever new..... As every moment of life unfurls, inspite of all the strife, discord and confusion- I still see my Lord's wonderful smile, and can't help but to be lost in His Charm!

...... to be continued

They made me who I am!

Meaning of Life

EGO

Today let us talk about one of the hottest topics of all times- EGO- We might be hearing that word way too often than we would want to ''Miss. Pretty has a puffed up ego'' ''He is so egoistic'' '' The relationship is crumbling cos of ego clash''. So now- let us get them right- Let us understand what is Ego.There are two types of Ego- True Ego and False Ego ( Psychologists talk about Id, Ego and Super ego- that is superficial;in fact they are sub divisions of False ego- I am talking about the two important variants which practically makes the difference) If you have read Vaishnav Philosophy u might have read about souls constitutional position as a servant of Lord.For those who have not heard- let me try to explain in a nutshell- Vaishnav philosophy projects very divine and confidential theory explaining the original position of every soul. It logically explains how we are not the body we presently reside in- our real position is in the transcendental world- world of eternal knowledge and bliss. We are the servants of Supreme Lord-now don't jump into conclusions comparing servant master relation in the world we presently live. In the transcendental abode servant is striving to please master and the master is even more engaged to please and protect the servant. In material world- especially in earth- the principle reigning is mutual utilization and exploitation- but that is not the case in transcendental world- a Vaishnav feels happiest to be the servant of the servant of the servant of Lord. And Lord is not like some Robot manufacturer- who build Robots to serve -without them personally having any individuality. Lord allotted each soul the freedom to think and decide.Krsna is not an authoritative autocrat ordering around. He is the most benevolent, forgiving and loving father. We see Lord Krsna giving the entire discourse of Bhagavad Gita- and towards the end at 63 verse of 18th chapter Lord says- '' Yathecchasi Thatha kuru'' After carefully thinking DO AS U WISH TO DO. Lord is Omnipotent- Arjuna had just seen Lord in His Universal Form- Lord could just dictate what to do and Arjuna would have done it- But no- Lord gave the freedom to choose- this independence, this individual space is the cause of Ego. We know we have certain area of freedom where we can exercise the power of free will Lord granted Us. True ego is to surrender to Lord as His servant and act according to His instructions, to please Him and His devotees. This is healthy ego- understanding ones constitutional position and acting accordingly to respect it. ( This is like we say in medical field- there is good cholesterol and bad cholesterol- one makes u healthy , other makes u sick! ) Now the problematic one- false ego- note that it is not called bad ego- but rather false ego. It is another fact that thriving in false ego is bad. False ego stems when there is veil over our true ego- due to some souls' desire to Lord over the material nature. These souls ( every living soul in all bodies- plants, animals and humans in material world are included in the list) want to enjoy separately from Lord. They revolt, why should they be obeying and serving- they want to be served as well. Lord is very merciful- He doesn't suppress their desire- Lord do not take back the free will He gave- so He leaves us to material world to let us enjoy accordingly to our wish. If u wished to fly for example, u get a body of bird, if u wished to have sexual pleasures u may be given body of elephant( cos in elephant community usually one male lords over a group of females) if u wished to eat a lot- u r given a body suitable to satisfy that desire most. From these bodies we pass over thousands and thousands of bodies to finally reach human body . ( Remember that none of the steps are irreversible- if one does some abominable sinful activity as a human he will get lower birth next life) Ya- so we come to this material world with the false ego- to be Lords and not servants. But our innate nature to serve remains - we see even cats and dogs caring for their young ones etc- still we , being clouded by the material modes of nature keep trying to be masters.

Lord Krsna explains to his dear friend Arjuna-''I am also the knower in all bodies, and to understand this body and its knower is called knowledge. That is My opinion.This body, O son of Kuntī, is called the field, and one who knows this body is called the knower of the field. (BG 13.2-3)The five great elements, false ego, intelligence, the unmanifested, the ten senses and the mind, the five sense objects, desire, hatred, happiness, distress, the aggregate, the life symptoms, and convictions — all these are considered, in summary, to be the field of activities and its interactions.(BG 13.6-7)The five great elements are a gross representation of the false ego, which in turn represents the primal stage of false ego technically called the materialistic conception, or intelligence in ignorance. This, further, represents the unmanifested stage of the three modes of material nature. (from purport by Srila Prabhupada).And Lord Krsna also declares that absence of ego is a symptom of knowledge.

So we clearly see that false ego is the intelligence in ignorance. Now are you disillusioned by the usage of phrase ''intelligence in ignorance"? Don't be- the 3 modes of nature are - Goodness, Passion and ignorance. We act on any of this platform while we are in the material world. When we do something out of true compassion, understanding the situation in its entirety, our position and deciding in proper consciousness- that is mode of goodness. When we do something to gain, to build, to possess, for opulence and power- that is said to be in mode of passion .Mode of ignorance is one in which we act without thinking, or without understanding the real situation or our position, not considering the consequences of action and with harmful intentions - then it is said to be in mode of ignorance. So intelligence in ignorance is explained on this ground- a person might be very intelligent- like those who planned the 9/11 attacks- it was brilliant brains- but can we say they are really intelligent? No- their intelligence is in mode of ignorance- whatever reason they did it for- since it was harming others, since it was so destructive- it is ignorant intelligence. So false ego is also like this - intelligence in ignorance. We are not realizing our true original position. We are identifying with the body and acting. Suppose we are in fancy dress competition wearing a Surgeons costume- it is fine as long as we realize its just the costume- but if we get carried away by it and try to do operations identifying oneself as surgeon- then it will wreck havoc for us and others around us- this is an example of false ego. We are not Indian or American or Male or female- these are like our costumes- when we start identifying with these costumes- we are said to be in false ego. Now let us examine how false ego is affecting us in gross manner- there is poverty in world since those in opulence are hoarding money. The rich people are making more and more money to store for their children and coming generations- they identify the particular body as "I"- and everything related as "my". There are wars between countries- cos men are wrongly patriotic, they want to possess more land, more power, more resources. Pakistan and India, America and Iraq- why, why are they in feud?India says Kashmir is mine and Pakistan says Kashmirs belongs to them- what fun! DOes land belong to anone? It is Gods possesion- we will live here and die. We dont possess anything. Can we stop wind from Pakistan from entering India, Birds from Pakistan from entering India? Humans are also Lords creation just like birds or animals- but having higher intelligence. So what is intelligent about fighing over possession of something which donot belong to either party? Can anyone take anything they win from these wars, when they leave body? So these are all the vices of false ego- It is this false ego that makes people fight, people jealous, revengeful, bitter- cos people simply want to establish they are great and worthy to be adored and served. They see themselves as independent entities worthy of being served. Lord not being a dictator allows us to continue this- to act according to our whims- till we surrender to Him. Lord has given promise that once we give up everything else and surrender to Him there is nothing we have to worry about- He will take care of us and it is said that once we return to Godhead we will be forever placed- we will never fall down again- Thats understandable- Once bitten twice shy.

So the whole point of human life is to escape - to rescue ourselves from the false ego and be seated in our constitutional position. All the problems in this world can be solved by simply understanding the principle that we are not masters.What seems to belong to us now- is temporary- we are keeper- not owner. We cannot have control over many things in life- if we understand this plain , simple and obvious fact- half the battle is won. It is not that our parents want us to spend time uselessly on pointless pursuits- they did not buy computer for us to play computer game without any regulation or to browse internet without monitoring- but still most kids do- Lord did not make us wrongly egoistic - but we perverted and used a gift of our identity.We are being the stubborn, ignorant children of a very loving, wise Father. By understanding these points- we can win over false ego to good extend and thats why spread of Krsna consciousness can aid in world peace and harmony. If world takes up Krsna consciousness, people would be trying to serve each other, please each other- happy at another's gain, happy at another's fortune- always giving and never demanding!Let us all unanimously Chant "Hare Krsna Hare Krsna Krsna Krsna Hare Hare, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare" and be forever Blissfully happy!

Dream Come True !!!

Do you believe in fairy tales?
I do!
Do you believe in dreams coming true?
I do!
And Do you believe in guardian angels?
I do!

Well you must be wondering if I am some crazy eccentric professor; to ask so many questions and then give answers on my own- I am not. I am a young lady being really happy for the way Lord is providing ! I met my guardian angel in person. OK, for those who don't know- let me explain- and those who know, please bear with me as I narrate.

Approximately 1000 days back, I was wandering inside the anonymous maze of virtual space- Taking break from the schedules that had become boring. I was an aspiring devotee ( still am) yearning for some association of like minded souls. Now don't think I was very silent, very reserved, totally religious or fanatic person- I was very talkative, very active and really friendly person. But in the depth of my heart I knew life's aim is not to spent it in materialistic pursuits, trying to bring the world under ones feet. I was spending most of my time reading about Lord,also about various religions and philosophies. And I met my angel in the most unexpected place- among a group of amateur singers. I was skeptical at first, apprehensive about strangers online, but someone in my heart said- ''go on- accept the hand of friendship''. Thats one decision I will never repent in my life. We became friends, close friends and then best friends. My angel was (is) a good devotee- with limitless patience and love, I was taught the basics of devotional service. At that point of life- I had been carried away by the philosophy of monism. So I first saw my angels views as childish and immature; I thought '' OK! as time unfolds I will show what true knowledge is''. But my Lord had not planned to keep me in ignorance for long - so Lord did not blind my eyes to truth; instead He granted me a receptive ear to receive the knowledge. Since I was in awe, reverence and love for my angel- I kept on listening patiently and asking doubts whenever I had any. I asked numerous doubts- more than an average person can tolerate. But since my guide was not mere human, but really an angel- I got answers- repeatedly- time and again; with no tinge of irritation or mockery.

Slowly it began to dawn to me- I was the foolish, immature one- all the 13- 14 years I spend in reading about philosophy was waste....I could have utilized it best by reading about my Lord....but well! what was past, was past and I was happy to hear about real knowledge at least now. My angel is a research scholar- PhD student- and you will know what compromise was made in life to accept and fit me in there. I was given on an average 2-3 hours a day- I could share all my personal problems, academic problems, social problems and spiritual queries. Sometimes my angel called me and read Srimad Bhagawatam or Bhagavad Gita; I was reminded about every Ekadasis and other special days. And so on life moved... days passed one after another; scenarios of life kept changing. people came and people left, exams came and results published... life kept on moving. I felt safe in my angels protection, I knew whatever went wrong I have my angel to hold on- and this was firm- cos I believed that my angel was sent by Lord since I am very childish and in need of protection. Our relation evolved gradually- from apprehension to acceptance, friendship,awe, respect, trust, love and faith. Through many many difficult phases in life- I did not feel threatened since my angel kept giving me courage through words from scriptures and wisdom therein.

All this kept happening- without having personally seen my angel even once.

And after many eventful days-after a long waiting period- I finally met my angel in person. It was so natural, so much in place. I did not feel like I have never met before- rather I felt like I have been living with my angel every day. There was no element of apprehension, uneasiness or artificiality- just like a reunion of old friends. So much joy and happiness, love and laughter and everything else good. The week passed at lightening speed. My angel took my hand and gave me strength, looked into my eyes and melted all fear, patted me and assured everything to be fine. We went out with my sister,to temple, to beach, to shops and many more places. Most of them did not make much difference to me since the presence of my angel was so overpowering that every other factors passed into oblivion.My angel went back, leaving behind a lot of colourful memories to cherish.

I am a happier person and I want to thank my Lord for the blessing. I am really unworthy recipient of this mercy and love but still my Lord disregard it. I have no qualification to even acquaint with my angel, but I am let to be. I understand the purpose of sending angel into my life- I am such a foolish person that I might have not accepted the nectar of devotional service through some other source. I had been proud of my understanding of monism and merging with Supreme effulgence. I was so stubborn to let any other explanation bother my mind. But my Lord did not let me live and die in the depth of folly- He mercifully extended His Lotus Hands to rescue me from my ignorance,through my angel. I cannot repay the kindness, all I can do is faithfully obey and practice all that has been taught to me.

''Dear Lord- I pray that my life be spent in Your service and Your devotees'. Whatever material miseries I have to face- let me go through them holding Unto You. I am a forgetful soul, totally foolish and egoistic, but please don't let me forget You- Only You can help me remember You always. Let no time in my life be spent without Your Lotus feet in my inner eyes. May my eyes see nothing but You, Your Paraphernalia and Your Pure Devotees, May I learn to see You in every atom of creation every moment of my life. For the kindness You bestow upon me- I can never return anything, but my Lord- let me remain Your servant all my life and beyond it. Please employ me in Your mission, empower me to spread the glory of Holy name, grant me taste in Holy name. No misery is greater than my forgetfulness about You and hence Lord- please don't let me forget You. Grant me the Love for You and make my life meaningful!''

Yes- I am a truly lucky girl. And I believe in fairy tales; in dreams coming true ;and in guardian angels.

Preacher Vs Social Worker

I am frequently bombarded with a host of questions when I disclose that I am an aspiring devotee, believing in principles of Vaishnavism and more recently ,ISKCON. People at large and especially the so- called educated sections of society, discard religion as a mere superstition and call spiritual seekers fanatists. I do agree to the point that, in todays world religion has more or less become business and a remarkable source of easy money. But that doesnt mean there is no true religion. The contemporary thinkers vehemently argue that religion is not the solution to the world's problems- rather religion itself is part of the problem. Society oppose young men and women spending time in temples, listening to discourses or chanting- instead people want them to be out on roads, cleaning garbages ( a job kept to be done on Gandhi Jayanti by college students) feeding masses, rehabilitating orphans, widows or elderly; to mention a few. People want councelling and de-addiction centers, schools and colleges, dispensaries and hospitals. Now let us look into these matter more deeply.

I would recall a remarkable quote- If one asks you food, do not just give him food, rather teach him a job so that he may never have to beg again. This is a point to ponder upon. No matter how zealously you try to fill in a broken pot, unless you mend the broken part, the water would just flow out. And that is what preaching is based upon. For hundreds of centuries,social reformers and well wishers have tried the traditional methods of social service. They fed the poor, clothed the deprived and healed the sick. They taught the illiterate to read and gave shelter to orphans and destitute. After all these, world is still swarming with more orphans, criminals and sick. That is why we have to examine, where the mistake is. Inspite of all good intentions and wonderful work, what is it that we are missing out? There has to be an important lead that we are constantly ignoring.

Now, we would explore the causes of the above mentioned problems. What is the cause of poverty, criminality or abandon? What makes children orphans; women unchaste; and elderly homeless? When we identify these underlying causes we can find a solution to them- Identifying them is the sealing of the broken pot which is our world! There is a saying- A man is richest whose pleasures are cheapest. And we have to agree, its true. That is what Vaishnavism teaches us- to live a simple life. Get up early, cleanse your body with water and mind with prayers, eat vegetarian food,and give respect to those worthy of it. Do not intoxicate - donot drink, smoke or engage in any other addictive substance abuse. Do not gamble. Do not have illicit sex. It is as simple as that. Vaishnavism is not a herculean task to take up- it doesnt ask you to abandon your duties and to meditate on snowcapped mountains or caves; it doesnt ask you to torture your body through continous fasting and austerities- Nothing tedious! We just ask you to follow the basic 4 regulative principles- and that is precisely what we preach.

If we look carefully enough we can see that if these four regulative principles are followed- automatically all other social causes are addressed. Like for example- Let us consider one by one- Vegetarianism. We preach to young and old alike to take a vegetarian life style. I would enumerate its benefits. Anyone who has passed 8th grade would know about the food chain. Food chain works this way precisely- 10% of energy from that last component is transferred to the next.
For example: Sun- grass-goat-Man. Grass recieves solar energy and 10% of it is transferred to usable energy by the grass. Now goat eats this grass- which can again take 10 % of whatever energy the grass has- which is just 1% of initial energy spend. Then comes the man- who can take further 10% of whatever energy the goat has- which is just 0.1% of solar energy. If we skip the goat and take the plant food directly- we get 10 times increase of energy intake. Instead of having large ranches to grow cattles that are then slaughtered for human consumption, grow cereals and fruits there. This will permanently address the food shortage problem. Another aspect in food chain is bio-magnification; which is the geometric progression of harmful substances' concentration in each successive level of food chain. Lower we are in food chain, lesser is the amount of poisonous substance we recieve in our system. Recent studies have very well proved that most of the diseases in todays world is either due to life style problems or are psychosomatic disorders( which means diseases starting from disturbed mind). Opting for a Vaishnav lifestyle will correct these complaints automatically and permanently. May I politely point out that Vegetarianism is not just propogated by Vaishnavism- but is also very clearly mentioned in bible as well. Let me quote from bible '' God said-'I give You every seed-bearing plant on the face of whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food.'' Genesis 1.29
For a long time it was advocated that animal proteins are an integral part of meal plan to have a healthy body. But research studies have disowned this argument with enough substantiation.For example people using plant protein lose less calcium from the bones. According to an article in 2002 July 15 edition of Time magazine, consuming more plant food reduces risk for many diseases including heart disease, obesity, cancers to name a few. The conclusion is that by adopting a vegetarian life style we can have lesser sick people and almost no hungry ones- which is a major concern of all the social workers since time immemorial.

Now, let us examine the importance of being away from intoxication. Why do people resort to intoxication- either for fun or to escape from the realities of life and sometimes to prove that one is ''cool''. Intoxication results in higher rate of criminality, accidents, immoral behaviour and heightened tendency of aggression in general. When one is intoxicated, it makes one lose control of oneself- our response time increases and we experience hallucinations or illusions. Moreover it increases domestic violence, chances of marital problems and anxiety in family , not to mention the loss of money. The preachers of ISKCON convince young people not to be addicted to these. Devotees realise that no matter how many de-addiction centres are opened, unless the source is sealed - all the endeavour is wasted. That is precisely why we spend so much of time, energy and money on preaching. We are more concerned about not having another person fall into these death traps- when that arrangement is made , then it is intelligent to open de-addiction centres to rescue those who are already in it. We urge people to realise their value, we tell them that they have a special life and a sacred mission. Life is not to be wasted away. We make them realise the worth of their life. We ask them to seek happiness within- and not in the outside world. Isnt that a more lasting solution than opening countless de-addiction and councelling centers?

People lose their lives savings by engaging in speculative games and gambling. Moreover gambling is a game where the driving force is laziness and lethargy- one wants to make money without doing any work. We preach against it. Believe in yourself and in the Absolute power. Do what you are supposed to do and leave the rest to Lord. Do not do empty speculations. We want to protect the masses from this camouflaged criminal, which is gambling. Gambling bring people to streets, make them homeless and sometimes even mad. People go insane on realising that just one wrong step has cost them their lifetime earning. People become disillusioned and aggressive - and hence we preach against it.

Now comes the last,but very important principle- No illicit sex. Unregulated sexuality is a major cause of disintegration of human society. It gives rise to orphans, prostitutes and diseases. It makes the society sick. Man comes down to the status of beasts- all he want is instant gratification of his carnal pleasures. Women become unchaste and families are shattered. Children are borne of unknown parentage. These children spend their childhood in ridicule and shame, which later results in making them criminals. AIDS has become one of the prime focus of the entire medical faculty. It makes me gape in disbelief to see that what they advocate is ''safe sex''. They are dispensing condoms freely- and here in America, high school restrooms have condoms for free. Many places in India have condom vending machines - in parks, bus stations and railway stations!!!! Are we humans, animals- to have such an unregulated sex life? I see scores of social workers working in NGO's, convincing people to use condoms and also distributing them for free. Is this intelligence? Is this the solution? The solution is to awaken the consciousness of masses- to make them realise the importance of being faithful to one's spouse, to convince the importance of being celibate until marriage. That alone can address this problem PERMANENTLY. So by preaching against illicit sex, devotess find solution to the problems of orphanage and destitute homes. We find a lasting way to put halt to the growing epidemic of sexual diseases. We decrease the chances for marital conflicts due to cheating and consequently help in making a healthy society. Simply dressing up the wounds forever can't really help- we have to permanently heal them and thats what preachers are trying to achieve. And the good part is - by these small changes in our lives we can find solution to most social problems.As Thoreau said-I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestioned ability of a man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor.

So the bottom line is- preacher is also a social worker and more importantly, he is a social worker not only for today, but for all times to come. He is helping heal a sick society today and also making a healthy one for future. He looks at life with deeper foresight and try to mend it in the prescribed ways of authentic knowledge. Since the conventional social work has not established anything lasting - why not try this time tested one?

H.G Gauranga Prabhu once gave a very interesting example. Some students were doing experiment to find out the gravitational constant''g'''. All of them were getting various values and one student was particularly adamant to do the experiment without any mistakes. After being convinced that he has done a very worthy experiment in a meticulous way - he addressed the class to approve his finding. Proudly he proclaimed- ''the value of ''g'' is 10.8 and this is ultimate''. All his classmates just laughed at him and dismissed his new finding- convinced that Newton has proved it to be 9.8 and He is the authority in gravitational studies. Students knew their senses are imperfect, their instruments are imperfect and the error factor creeping in is so high, to let the found value to be considered absolute. The same principle works in spirituality and life in general too. Our senses are imperfect- so is our intellect and mental faculty- but we have realisations and directions from a Higher authority which has been proved right, time and again- that is what we should follow. And that is what preachers are trying to do. Preachers try to impart the knowledge locked in the vedic wisdom. Vaishnav teaching are so profoundly simple that one may easily overlook their elegance. Let us not fall prey to that, let us determinedly bring them upon in our daily life and reform the world around. All preachers are social workers, but all social workers are not essentially preachers.

''To be conscious that you are ignorant is a great step to knowledge.'' Benjamin Disraeli.
We are all ignorant, we all are empty vessels- but thats a good thing- since it means we have ample scope to learn and fill. If we submissively try to learn the wisdom of great teachers of past , coupled with God's grace - we need nothing more to perfect our life. If all those who came to understand the importance of preaching, preached- the world has ample to hope for- a happy, healthy and peaceful tommorrow!

Torn Apart

Life is so complex- its intimidating. It may be because I am so fallen, puffed up and in illusion. But what I see when I look at my life is- a mess. I am torn apart between commitments and convictions, between righteousness and dedication, between love and like. Somethings in life are to be wished for, some to be possessed and some to be discarded- though inevitably, as time unveils, everything will be lost. Yet, in the depth of heart, a lonely dove cooed - yearning for a love that will never fulfill.

If I marry I know I will be a good wife, an abiding in-law and a marvellous mother- I might realise that marriage is not always a dream come true- it is rather a product of painstaking adjustments, dedicated commitments and a lot of understanding. It thrives in everyday dealings- a dash of argument at times colouring up the way, an unprecedented guest sometimes warming up the day or the relief of finding a warm hand when you wake up from a night mare. I won't be given a perfect person, but I can try to make a wonderful marriage. He could be short tempered, impatient or too career minded- but someday soon I may discover he is spiritual inside and loves art and music. Let me try to live one day at a time and may I outlive the past to reach a future close. Let me accept the fact that its not so important to dictate how one want to be loved; rather the beauty of love is to realise no matter how- but you are immensely loved. . Let me try to realise the truth of life and who I really am- caring too much about the etiquettes of world- may I not forget to relish the pudding I'm served!!!

Enigma Called Life !

Life is a gift- I heard people say- I believed them since I was innocent. I looked around to see flowers, children and butterflies. I saw a perfect gift when I recalled my friends, family and all the love they share. Foolish- I was! Confused myself between reality and illusion. But how could I be blamed - Lord had arranged situations for me that were so good. My naive heart hoped it would be so till the end of Life. But obviously- Life had other plans. Life had to jolt me out of this unrealistic aspiration and as days went by, I started noticing that gift of life is not so perfect after all. People who I held close sometimes vanished - later I came to know - its called death. I wondered ''Why do people die?'' I like everyone to be there always. When I grew up more I read about poverty, terrorism and wars. Not all kids slept on bed, nor did all have food to eat. Strong oppressed the weak, rich cashed upon the poor and powerful conquered the powerless. Life was not so fair after all.

Though these realizations were brought without much disturbance of the personal sphere of comfort, life soon showed me everything is not so well, even in the small circle I exist. I saw people fighting between each other for pointless reasons, relations shattered for a bundle of currency, trust betrayed and hearts broken. But yet- I saw around- people just were too optimistic. They looked forward for the life to change into the wonderful gift they heard about as children. Almost Everyone believed in Higher Power, Higher Intelligence and Divine Interventions- but they had different priorities than to actively pursue spiritual life. Old age or after retirement there is so much time to spend exclusively on spiritual quest, people vainly calculated. Life's milestones passed one by one- but not many realized that death is coming nearer and nearer. I saw people sympathizing for the young man who passed away in a bike accident or the child who drowned while swimming. People went on diets and exercise programs- seeing middle aged men dying of heart attack or stroke, but I saw no one realize that their chance may be next.

What is old age? Greying of hair? Wrinkles? Losing of teeth, vision or hearing? Alzheimer s??? None! The most sensible explanation of old age I have heard, is from HG Gauranga Prabhu- that Old age is nothing but the proximity to death. Or at least the practical definition of old age is the proximity to death since some of the readers might counter argue that what about a five year old dying? Can it be said the child passed away in old age? No- in theoretical sense and literal meaning the child passed away in his boyhood- but in absolute terms if we assess, by plotting a graph of his life and dividing it into equal segments, then yes- he died in that last part of the the graph. And the last part is termed old age. In Mahabharata there is a situation when King Yuddhistira is asked questions by Dharmadev- what is it that King Yuddhishtir finds most amazing about this world. And He replies that it is the human nature, which in spite of seeing so may people die day after day still considers that death will not attack him any time soon. This is so very true. We always expect only others to die- not our beloved, not ourselves.

From the time we are born, we are looking up to life to fulfill some desires, some aspirations- the hope of finding everlasting happiness and never disturbed peace. When we are children we think once we finish school its blissful life in college,but then we realize we need more. When we do our graduation , we think getting a job is the best thing to make life perfect. Once we land on a job, we realize that life is still not perfect- we need someone to share our life and then starts the hunt for the ideal match. Later we realize that after all this scrutinized selection of spouse there is still discord, there is fight and jealousy. We assume that lack of kids is what makes all the problems and prepare to have kids. When kids come we have desire to see them in good school, best college and grand job. We want to see the child married and then to see grandchildren. Life is spent thinking that possessing something more will make us happy and satisfied- but no!!! Life never become perfect or at least the illusion of perfection don't stay long.We see that it is a foolish quest- a wild goose chase- searching for fountain of water, in the most arid desert. Walking through life, I realized that all those words about life being gift was just a lie- a blatant lie that was sarcastically laughing at me as I tried to pursue it.

Life moved on and I kept searching for a happiness that would be everlasting. I made friends, did charity work, was active socially- but still happiness eluded me. I studied well, participated in extra curricular activities and developed polished behavior- but still happiness was nowhere to be seen. My pursuit of happiness seemed to be never ending- until I stumbled upon the nectarine association of a devotee. Holding those hands I started to explore the highest philosophy of all- I came to know about service to Lord, our position as eternal servants of Lord. I realized that my desire to lord it over material nature was the reason that made me desperate and in constant agony. I came to know about the modes of material nature- the modes of ignorance, passion and goodness- and their statures in human life. I heard from authorities the instructions to overcome these modes and be situated at least in mode of goodness. If you are wondering why I said ''at least mode of goodness''; it is because we have to transcend even the mode of goodness to properly understand the philosophy of devotional service.

At first I was confused- since I had fed my mind with every possible theories based on monism- I wanted to become one with Lord. So I was not sure if taking to devotional life was better option. But I took up chanting- "just for the heck of it" -in youngster's language. But yes- the transcendental vibration did have effects- I slowly began to understand the philosophy. Now you should not interpret my understanding philosophy as realizing it- there is a gulf of difference. Every alcoholic knows that drinking alcohol is injurious to health- but does it stop him from drinking? No! I was (am) also foolish- I understood about the ephemeral nature of life, the pointlessness in sense gratification and the fundas of Karmic reactions- still I had some expectations from life and some desires- though their strength had greatly decreased. After two years of reading and chanting, I got opportunity to serve devotees and then I started to realize the practical applicability of the Bhakti Yoga.

I once heard about Prahlad Maharaj intructing His schoolmates from Srimad Bhagawatam. And with wonder I realised how true it is-let me share with you:

SB 7.6.6: Every human being has a maximum duration of life of one hundred years, but for one who cannot control his senses, half of those years are completely lost because at night he sleeps twelve hours, being covered by ignorance. Therefore such a person has a lifetime of only fifty years.
SB 7.6.7: In the tender age of childhood, when everyone is bewildered, one passes ten years. Similarly, in boyhood, engaged in sporting and playing, one passes another ten years. In this way, twenty years are wasted. Similarly, in old age, when one is an invalid, unable to perform even material activities, one passes another twenty years wastefully.
SB 7.6.8: One whose mind and senses are uncontrolled becomes increasingly attached to family life because of insatiable lusty desires and very strong illusion. In such a madman's life, the remaining years are also wasted because even during those years he cannot engage himself in devotional service.

I have already lost 20 precious years and I don't know how long I would live. I do not wish to be mad, nor do I wish to stay foolish.I have began to taste the happiness- by simply doing service. I can do service all day long without any food even and still not feel tired. The more service I do , the more glad I became. The more I stretch my limits to serve, the more satisfied I felt. I am amazed- it doesn't work this way usually- working makes one tired. And I am here - exerting all day long and feeling stronger and happier than ever.My sweet Lord Sri Krsna was letting me see for real the magic of devotional service. He was kindly showing me that if I look in proper place- with proper guide- I can find true happiness even in this world. When Lord or His devotees come in, then immediately whatever situation it is, becomes transcendentally blissful. My mind is still so foolish, it has not developed attachment to Holy name and Lord- but Krsna is All Merciful- He guides me through His Words as scriptures and as Guru in parampara. Walking in the desert of material life I have found the oasis of devotional life. I no longer need to run behind the mirages, I can simply remain happy by serving Lord and His devotees. I have no qualification to serve- but the mercy of Lord Chaitanya and devotees encompass me and let me serve. I have realized this is the way of being satisfied, I just need to get rid of my false ego and other anarthas. I just need to get the mercy of Lord and Guru - nothing more for a perfect life. And yes- now again I have begun to believe the verse- Life is a gift- Yes Human life truly is a gift, only if we know how to live it well. Our gift would be perfect if we simply engage in remembering Lord, chanting His names and serving Lord and His devotees. I hope I never forget this- Illusion of this world is so strong, but I am clutching the lotus feet of Lord's devotees, to keep me safe, to let me make the life a real gift, indeed!